Making space for 'good enough' and the unexpected

Our expectations set the atmosphere of our days. To put it more accurately, our responses to how those expectations turn out fuel the overall impressions we carry. When those expectations are unrealistic, we are setting ourselves up for a battle with our emotions. So often we seek a Christmas season that matches the highlight reels shared on social media or the scripted scenes we see in movies. We can be left feeling like we have failed in some way and take that frustration out on those around us. Or at least, that has been true for me at times. What if there is another way?

Instead of picture perfect, I am aiming for ‘good enough’ moments. There will be mess and disorganisation. I will have a tired and emotional pre-teen to support. Some activities will need to be scrapped or moved to another day. When I go into this season with these more realistic expectations and a flexible approach, it is easier to focus on moments of joy and delight within my day. I am better able to process disappointment as it comes up and let it go.  Myquillyn Smith (The Nester) always gives the reminder that ‘it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.’

So, we can adjust our everyday expectations and aim for ‘good enough’. But what happens when we are blindsided by circumstances or incidents that are more than just a disappointment? The past couple of weeks have reminded me once again of just how quickly life can change when the unexpected hits. Plans shift, priorities reshuffle, and a new focus is needed. I am exceedingly grateful that my family is only experiencing a short-term disruption (which isn’t fully my story to share). For many, the impact of their unexpected moments is far more long-reaching.

We have no choice but to make space when this greater level of the unexpected hits. Space in our schedules for extra demands or cancelling events that are no longer possible. Space to process our emotions and support others feeling the impact. Space for others to help. It quickly brings what is truly important into focus. If you are facing something out of the ordinary, I hope you will be kind to yourself in this process, doing what is needed to care for yourself and those close to you.

So, as we go into the rest of these days leading up to Christmas, let’s remind each other to have eyes to see the beautiful moments and hearts to focus on being present for those we love.