My body- a hindrance and an invitation
My body feels like my greatest hindrance and most open invitation these days. Pain and tiredness often flow as an undercurrent in my days, at times breaking the surface and disrupting my plans. I alternate between giving in through limiting my activities, and ignoring the physical realities by doing everything anyway. Neither option is great!
When I allow myself to give in, I retreat from taking care of my body and drift into a pity party instead. I miss out on experiences and opportunities that would be fun, challenging or refreshing. I focus more on comfort than growth. The pain and fatigue get worse despite the increased ‘rest’ as it isn’t the kind of rest that my body needs.
On the other hand, pushing through and doing everything as if I had no physical challenges also results in increased pain and tiredness. I block out the signals my body is sending until the screaming warning system forces me to stop. I may have achieved a few more things in the short term but face consequences that prevent me being the mum, wife, and community member I want to be.
There is a third approach I aim for but find myself frequently missing. I want to invest in long-term health and strength while listening to my body and making adjustments in the present. I likely have a long life still ahead of me. Do I want to spend it highly limited through my own choices or thriving through the decisions I make along the way? So much of health and life is beyond our control, with unexpected diagnoses or accidents changing our world in an instant. Instead of letting that discourage me, I am choosing to focus on what is in my power to influence. In essence, this is leading myself well by taking care of my body.
This is a concept that I have returned to again and again over the years. At times, I have pursued it whole-heartedly and enjoyed the benefits. At other times, it has sat on my goal list in one form or another- a guilt-inducing reminder of what I am not putting into practice. I’d like to think I can conquer it once and for all but I know that is not how progress works.
There have been various catalysts driving this up the priority list at different times, usually involving some kind of pain. This can be a great motivator, inviting me to do something different in an attempt to quiet that siren interrupting the life I want to lead. Of course, the demands of life, impacted energy levels and long-term nature of these issues throw up challenges. Hence, the often-derailed eating plans, exercise routines and mindset.
I am also recognising that my body’s response to what I eat and how much I move is changing as I get older. It sucks. It doesn’t feel fair. And yet, this is the reality. Now I need to learn to listen more to what my body needs while not falling into rigid rules that kill off enjoyment in life. I don’t have this figured out yet, but I have made a start. I am accepting the open invitation.